


They say I'm incapable of love

by ceciliasol



Category: Brave (2012), Frozen (Disney Movies), Raya and the Last Dragon (2021), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, And hoo boy did they have a bad breakup, Binge Drinking, Elsa gives Merida a pet name and it's "sunshine" <3, F/F, F/M, Give Elsa A Girlfriend (Disney), Hangover, Hans is a jerk as usual, Honeymaren is Elsa's ex btw, M/M, Multi, Olaf is an excitable and curious dog who loves summer, Unrequited Rayelsa, Unrequited Rydoff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27950666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasol/pseuds/ceciliasol
Summary: In which Elsa drinks too much and wakes up in bed with a beautiful Scottish woman by her side.
Relationships: Anna/Hans (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney), Elsa/Merida (Disney), Elsa/Raya (Disney), Kristoff/Ryder Nattura
Comments: 11
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merelsa is my favorite Disney ship, but there's not much content to it, so I figured I'd give it a go. I would also like to officially kick-off the Rayelsa ship <3

I woke up and I wish I hadn’t. I had a pounding headache on the right side of my head, pulsating along with my heartbeat. The nausea came almost immediately after I regained consciousness, and the blinding light of the window forced me to close my eyes, then wrap one arm over my face to shield them from the light. I felt like shit.

The worst part was that I could not for the love of me figure out what put me in such a sorry state. Thinking hurt, so I tried to avoid it. I felt sick, so I assumed it was probably some virus or whatever. Was that what a cold feels like? You might not believe me, but the truth is that I had never once caught a cold in my life, not as far as I can remember.

Whatever it was, I hated it. I needed something. Medicine. Anna kept all sorts of drugs in the kitchen cabinet. I should probably go there and get something, anything, to deal with that headache and nausea. I shifted around, trying to bring myself to sit up, and that’s when I noticed it.

An arm.

Wrapped around my waist.

I wasn’t alone.

Panic settled as I turned around as quickly as I could. There was a girl there. A redhead, probably about my age, with an upturned nose and the cutest freckles I had ever seen. I glanced around me, and found out that I wasn’t in my house. On top of it all, the nightgown I was wearing wasn’t my own. Shit! How the heck did I end up there? What even happened, the previous night?

My sudden movement caused the girl to wake up. She yawned, and stretched her arms, before opening her eyes and looking up at me with a gentle smile.

“Morning, princess.”

Pri— what?! Why did she call me that? This can’t be what it looks like, can it?

“Um… morning, err…” I racked my brains, trying to recall the name of that woman. But I had absolutely no recollection of her whatsoever. She giggled.

“Merida,” said the redhead, thinking it all too amusing. “You really can’t memorize it, eh? That’s all right, princess, don’t worry. I don’t mind if you keep calling me sunshine, like you did last night.”

Sunshine. The nickname jogged my memory, and the events of the previous night started coming back to me.

I remembered going to the pub. I had asked for their strongest drink, and downed it in one swig. I recalled myself telling strangers around me about my problems. Almost everything that followed was a blur, but I definitely remembered Merida. I called her Sunshine multiple times. I kissed her, too, bothin the pub and outside. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I woke up on the back seat of a cab with Merida calling my name. Then I got off the car and Merida guided me to her apartment.

And that was all I could recall.

Now I was in her bed, sleeping next to her. Cuddling. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what must have happened in the meantime.

“Oh, shit,” I said, hiding my face in both hands.

“Something wrong, princess?” said Merida. There was concern in her voice, but also a hint of anxiety, of fear.

“Yes,” I told her, trying to will myself to stop thinking. “I have the worst headache ever.”

Merida laughed, and got off the bed. She exited the room, then came back a minute later with a glass of water and a blister of pills. Medication, at last.

“Thank you,” I told her, accepting both things. Merida sat on the bed beside me, and started rubbing my back.

“You drank a lot, last night,” she told me. That much was clear. “I hope this doesn’t turn into a habit, it’s frankly not good for your health.”

“Trust me, it won’t,” I retorted. The murderous headache I had then was incentive enough not to repeat the experience.

“Do you need anything else?” she asked.

“Not unless you have a time machine,” I replied. “Or strong sedatives, I could try to sleep this out.”

Merida chuckled. “I’m afraid not, Elsa.”

Silence. The girl kept rubbing my back, as I sipped the water. There was a question I desperately needed to ask, but I was far too scared of the answer.

“Last night…” I began to say. “I… don’t remember much of what happened. Did I… you… I mean, did we… shit, this is awkward.”

Merida stopped rubbing me and looked me in the eyes. “We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

I felt my face burn, and I knew I must be blushing. I covered it with my hands again, fighting the embarrassment.

“Thanks,” I managed to say. “So… umm… tell me, why _didn’t_ we have sex?”

Merida laughed. It was a sweet sound, and it filled me with happiness.

“Well, you definitely tried to talk me into it,” she said, grinning. “But you were way too drunk for me to even consider. I barely managed to get you to change into the nightgown before you fell asleep again.”

I sighed. I had no recollection of that whatsoever. I never behaved like that. Getting drunk, kissing strangers, trying to talk them into sex, it was all so out of character for me… And yet, I could totally picture myself doing it all when given the chance. Merida didn’t look like she was lying, either.

“Sorry,” I said, massaging my temples, in a futile attempt to do away with the headache. “I’m really ashamed that you had to take care of me, last night. I swear I’ve never done anything like this, before.”

“I know,” she said.

“Wait… you do?”

Merida nodded. “Well, you told me all about it, of course, but I also called your sister, and she said the same thing.”

“Anna? But how? I… did I give you her number?”

Merida shook her head. “She’s your emergency contact, in your phone. It didn’t feel right to just bring you to my place without at least letting someone know I was doing it. I would have taken you to your place, but damn, you and your sister live all the way across the city. I didn’t have enough cash in me for the cab fare.”

I smiled, grateful. As much as I didn’t want Anna to know I’d done something as irresponsible as drinking myself to a blackout, I could understand why Merida had told her. It was the right thing to do.

Another wave of nausea. The headache was relentless, too.

“I am never going to drink again in my life,” I declared, and Merida laughed.

—

I spent the rest of the day in Merida’s place, fighting the aftereffects of my recklessness. I called Anna, just to let her know I was safe, and told her I’d be back home soon. To my dismay, it seemed that Anna’s brand new fiancé was with her at our place. Anna suggested to have Hans pick me up, but I refused, of course. The guy gave me the creeps. I could get home by public transportation, as soon as I recovered from the hangover.

I was originally thinking of leaving Merida’s place and just killing time at some bookstore or mall for the time being. My plan was to get home later in the evening, when Anna would be out of the house. That way she wouldn’t have to see me in such a sorry state, nor would I have to face Hans. But Merida insisted that I stay there, saying I was welcome in her place and that I should try to get better before leaving. And my headache was so strong just then that I simply accepted without a second thought.

The redhead closed the curtains and left me in the bedroom to sleep. Every once in a while she walked back in, to check on me, before leaving again. I would have found that cute if I wasn’t feeling too ill to think.

When I woke up again, it was already evening.

I walked into the living room, and was greeted with the smell of food. Merida was cooking, it seemed. Her messy curly hair had been bundled and tied into a ponytail, and she was wearing a very peculiar apron with a large bear image stamped on the front. Also, she seemed happy.

“Err… afternoon?” I said, to get her attention.

Merida looked up from the stove, and beamed.

“Hey, Elsa. How are you feeling?”

“Better, now,” I confirmed. It was true. I no longer felt the nausea, and the headache had subdued to a more manageable level. “I’m sorry for imposing. You could have woken me up sooner, you know. I don’t want to get in your way.”

“Nonsense,” said the girl, turning back to whatever she was cooking. “It’s a Sunday, I would probably have just stayed home anyway. Besides, I’m happy you’re here, at least it motivates me to actually cook some proper food for once. I get lazy when it’s just me.”

That took me by surprise. “You’re cooking… for me?”

“Well, obviously,” said the girl, giggling. “I’m not gonna let you starve, am I? Do you have any allergies, or dietary restrictions? Anything I should know about?”

“I… not really. But why are you doing this? You know you don’t have to. I mean, I’m basically just a stranger to you.”

Merida shrugged. “I guess I just wanna spend more time with you. Plus, I heard you talking to your sister on the phone, earlier, and I know you don’t wanna go back home right away, since your sister’s fiancé is there.”

I groaned. “Ugh. Did I tell you about that?”

“Yes, at length, yesterday night. You wouldn’t shut up about it, in fact. You told the whole bar about your sister and this Danish guy who proposed to her on their first date. Hans, wasn’t it? You said you didn’t trust him, and that Anna was a fool who was about to marry a stranger. And also something about her believing in true love and watching too many teen meet-cute movies.”

The more Merida spoke, the more embarrassed I got. I leaned back against a wall, then slid down to the floor and buried my face in my knees. “Shit,” I said.

This seemed to get Merida worried.

“Hey, it’s all right, princess,” she said, walking up to me. She crouched beside me, and put a hand on my shoulder. “Everyone gets too drunk at least once in their lives. No one is going to hold it against you. I won’t.”

“I don’t,” I declared. “I never even drank alcohol before. I… wait,” a disquieting thought occurred to me. “Did I tell you anything else? I mean, about myself?”

I saw Merida purse her lips and avert her eyes, a simple gesture that confirmed my greatest fears.

“Oh, no,” I said, horrified. “I… did I tell you about Raya?”

“Let me see,” said the redhead. “Was that the childhood friend you once tried to kiss who was so surprised about it that she punched you?”

I wailed, and buried my face in my knees again. “Just kill me now,” I pleaded.

“Hey, hey, none of that,” said Merida. “It’s in the past, Elsa. Do you want to hear about my romantic misadventures, in return? I have a few that are really funny, you’ll love them.”

I chuckled. “Thanks, sunshine,” I said, the nickname escaping my lips before I could help it. Then I noticed a strange smell in the air. I sniffed. “Hey, I think something’s burning.”

The color drained from Merida’s face. “My spinach puffs!” she exclaimed, before dashing back to the kitchen.

—

Merida turned out to be quite a decent cook, in the end. Her food was not as good as Kai’s, of course, but it was still quite tasty. We talked a lot over dinner, with Merida telling me all sorts of things about herself. I had picked up from her accent that she wasn’t from Arendelle, and Merida confirmed it.

“I’m from Northern Scotland,” she said. “The Highlands.”

I nodded. “And what brought you to Arendelle?” I asked, curious.

“Ohh, my mum,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Mum never accepted that I was gay. She kept trying to push me into marrying a rich businessman’s son, and we started fighting and arguing a lot about it. In the end, I ran away. As soon as I was of age, I bought me the cheapest plane ticket that would take me out of the UK. I landed in Oslo. Then this and that happened, and I wound up here.”

I stared at her, gaping in disbelief. “That’s… wow, that’s brave of you.”

The redhead giggled. “What can I say? I’m a rebel,” she winked at me. It made my chest ache, a little. That was the woman I’d kissed, the previous night. The one who’d saved me after I was way too drunk to take proper care of myself. The more she told me about herself, the more I thought she was amazing, and the smaller I felt in comparison. What was she doing, helping me? A shut-in, socially-awkward recluse who’s never done anything interesting in her life.

I insisted on washing the dishes, once we’d finished eating, so Merida went around cleaning the mess in the apartment. And then she invited me to watch a movie with her. I frowned.

“I really must be going, though,” I said, hugging myself, embarrassed.

“You sure?” said Merida. She looked… hopeful, maybe?

I nodded. “I’ve bothered you long enough. Thank you so much for taking such good care of me. I’m in your debt.”

I saw Merida’s lips curl up in a smirk. “Well, how about this, then: Give me your number and we’re even,” she joked.

I furrowed my brow. “My… number? But why would you want that?”

Merida laughed. “How are you this dense?” Then she leaned closer to me, smiling, and whispered: “I’m flirting with you, Elsa. Would you like to go out with me, sometime?”

Merida’s words shocked me. I stared at her, wide-eyed, and stuttered when I tried to speak. “G— go out? You… you mean, as in, a…”

“A date, yeah,” said the redhead, winking at me again. “If you want to, that is.”

I swallowed dry. “Ah, sure. I… we… we can do that, yes.”

Merida grinned. “Perfect,” she said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elsa and Ryder are best friends

I arrived home to find a situation completely out of ordinary. There was a suitcase in the middle of the living room, along with a couple of boxes. It looked like someone was moving out. I called for my sister, but got no answer. That was a given, of course, since I knew she was out every Sunday evening. I looked into her bedroom and found nothing out of place. It didn’t seem like Anna was packing to leave. And I doubted she’d kick me out without so much as talking to me about it.

In which case there was only one possible explanation for the boxes in the living room.

I fished my phone from my pocket, ready to call Anna and give her an earful, when, as if on cue, the woman herself opened the door and walked into the house. Her fiancé was with her, much to my dismay.

I was never one to cause a scene or lose my temper, but this time I didn’t hesitate.

“Anna, what is the meaning of this?” I asked her, motioning at the suitcase and boxes.

“Oh… wow, Elsa, what happened to ‘good evening, dear sister?’ You never came home last night, I was worried about you.”

I could tell that she was stalling, trying to disarm me. It wouldn’t happen.

“Anna. Boxes. Reason. Now.”

My sister sighed. “Didn’t I tell you, sis? Hans is moving in with us.”

My jaw dropped and I scoffed, looking around the room in disbelief. I had already expected that answer, but actually hearing it from Anna was something else entirely.

“No,” I said.

Anna furrowed her brow. “No… what?”

“No one is moving in with us. And no one is getting married, either. Anna, may I talk to you, please? Alone.” I emphasized that last word, in a commanding tone.

But, much to my dismay, Anna decided to stand her ground. “Whatever you have to say, you can say to both of us,” she demanded.

I sighed. “Fine. Hans can’t stay here. And you can’t marry a man you just met.”

Anna was already expecting me to object. “You _can_ if it’s true love,” she replied, always the idealist. I might have laughed if the situation wasn’t so dire.

“Anna, what do you even know about love?”

“More than you, Elsa,” Anna said coldly. “At least I’m not a recluse who never lets anyone come close. At least I’m _trying_ , Elsa. You just shut people out! That’s what you do! You’re a shutter-outer!”

I was beginning to lose my temper.

“I’m not changing my mind on this, Anna. You,” I pointed at the snob-looking man beside my sister, “Hans, or whatever. Take your boxes out of my apartment, please.”

Hans shrugged, and motioned to take the nearest box, but Anna stopped him with one arm, while staring ferociously into my eyes.

“Don’t you dare, Elsa,” she defied. But two could play at that game.

“Or what?” I retorted.

“Or… or…”

Anna looked around, as if looking for clues. It didn’t seem like she had considered this scenario before. Then I saw her close her eyes and grit her teeth, hands closed in tight fists beside her.

“I will not let you stand in the way of my happiness,” she declared. Then she turned around, grabbed Hans’ arm, and dragged him outside, shutting the door behind them as they went.

I sighed. Great. Now Anna is mad at me. Again. How many times had it been, already? It seemed that ever since our parents passed away, we started getting in fights more and more frequently. And it all escalated with the whole Hans thing.

 _I’m just looking out for you, sis_ , I thought, but even in my head I was already beginning to doubt my own judgment. Anna was right. She was an adult now, and if she wanted to marry a stranger, who was I to stop her? It was her decision. Her life. Maybe Anna was right. Maybe I _was_ standing in the way of her happiness. Anna found someone she loved and who loved her back. That was more than I could ever say of myself. So why was it that I couldn’t just be happy for her?

Should I apologize? Should I let Hans move in with her? But that meant moving in with me as well, and I damn well didn’t want to live with the guy.

I tapped idly at my phone’s screen, vaguely considering the idea of calling Merida and asking her for an opinion on this. But I dismissed the idea, as it was absurd. I barely knew Merida. Granted, I _did_ tell her almost everything about my current fight with Anna, the previous night. But it’s not like I could just dump all my problems on her and ask the girl for directions.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the bathroom. I’d shower, sleep out the rest of my hangover, and deal with Anna in the morning. There was a chance she’d be in a better mood by then. Maybe then I would have a clearer idea of what to do.

But Anna wasn’t there when I woke up.

I figured she must have spent the night at Hans’ place, wherever that was. Hopefully not in Denmark. I considered calling her, but I knew that, if she was still mad at me, calling her then would only make things worse. She’d lash out at me and call me names, and the only possible way to revert that scenario would be if I gave her and Hans my blessing and allowed them to move in. Which I wouldn’t, because it all still seemed like an absurd idea to me.

I tried hard not to think about it. I left the house and made my way to campus, to attend the day’s classes. By night, when I returned, there was still no sign of Anna. Hans’ boxes were still sitting in the middle of my living room, untouched. It didn’t look like Anna had been in the apartment at all since our fight, the night before. Even considering the circumstances, this was very unlike her. Concern outweighed my fear of confrontation, and I decided to give her a call. I didn’t care if she lashed out at me, I just wanted to make sure she was still alive.

A man answered the call.

“Hello?” he said. His voice was mostly unfamiliar, but I still had a fairly good idea of who that was.

“Hans, where’s Anna?” I demanded.

I could hear him chuckling through the line. What a douche.

“My beloved Anna does not wish to speak with you at the moment, Elsa.”

“Get her all the same,” I said. “I just want to know if she’s okay.”

“I assure you,” said the man, “that I am taking perfectly good care of my cutiepie, and you have nothing to worry about.” The sweetness in his voice was nauseating. Was that how all couples in love behaved?

“Hans bloody hell, just give me Anna. Now!”

There was silence at the other end, for almost a minute. I almost thought Hans had hung up on me. But eventually I heard my sister’s voice.

“What?!” she asked, irritably.

“Anna, where are you?” I inquired.

Anna chuckled. “Like I’d tell you, sis.”

“I’m worried about you,” I tried to argue.

“No, you’re not,” she countered. “You never worry about anyone other than yourself, Elsa. If you cared about me, you’d give me your blessing. You’d let Hans and I live together. You’d see that he’s my true love and we are perfect for each other. But you can’t, because your heart is frozen over and you couldn’t recognize happiness if it bit you. So no, you’re not worried about me, and I’m through with taking your unshaking sisterly support. Good night, Elsa.”

“Anna, wait, listen!” I said, desperate to stop her from hanging up on me.

I waited, mildly afraid that it was too late.

“I’m listening,” said Anna, to my relief.

I braced myself for what I was about to say. “Look, you’re right, okay. You’re an adult and you can take your own decisions. Hans can move to our place if you want, just… come home, sis.”

Nobody said nothing for a long time.

“Anna?” I called.

“Do you mean it, Elsa?” my sister asked, nervously.

“I mean it,” I confirmed, ignoring the pain in my chest.

“Okay…” said Anna. “We’ll… we’ll be there tomorrow. Night, sis.”

I ended the call. I felt like crying. I scrolled through my contacts list, looking for someone whom I could ask for a favor. Anna was right, I did shut people out. Most of the names I found were professional contacts: uni teachers, lawyers, the real estate people that helped us sell the old family house, and so forth. There were only a few people on the list I could actually consider my friends.

I decided to try Rapunzel. I sent her a message and waited in agony. Then I realized that spending my whole night staring at the phone screen would only make me more anxious. I had to get out of the house. To go somewhere else where I could just forget about that awful situation, if only for the night.

I called Ryder.

—

“So…let me see if I got this,” said the guy. “Your sister is getting married. And she wants to live with the guy. So she brought his stuff to your place without telling you.” He waited for me to confirm before proceeding, and I nodded. “Right. And then you two had a fight. And now _you’re_ the one who’s going to move out of the place? Elsa, why?”

I rested my head against the wall, tired. “Because, as I told you, I want Anna to be happy. And she says she needs this guy to be happy, so who am I to interfere?”

Ryder nodded. “I can see that. What I don’t get is, why is it that you have to leave, and not Anna?”

“Because I’m an idiot, Ryder.”

“Can’t argue with you, there,” he mocked.

I chuckled. “Jerk.”

The waiter placed our drinks on the table, and left. Ryder and I were in one of his favorite pubs, one not too far from campus. The two of us used to be high school classmates, and we ended up remaining friends even after graduation. Partly because we were the two weirdest kids in our class, and partly because of…

“How’s your sister?” I asked.

“Honeymaren? She’s doing fine,” said Ryder. “A bit down now that she broke up with Cass, but she’ll get over it. She asks about you, from time to time.”

That was surprising. “Really?” I inquired, while sipping my lemonade. “And what do you talk about?”

Ryder smirked. “Well, to be honest, she just asks if I still talk to ‘that cold-hearted bitch,’ to which I reply that yes, I do.”

I snorted. “She still hates me that much?”

“I think she cares about you, in a way,” said Ryder. “I mean, sure, she’s still mad and she’ll probably kick your ass if you show up at her work or at our place, but deep inside — deep, deep, deep inside — I think she cares. She wouldn’t ask about you if she didn’t, right?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. Who knows.”

“How’s it going in the romance department, by the way? Broke any more girls’ hearts?”

I laughed at that. “Please, Ryder. We both know that’s not how it happened. Maren broke up with me, not the other way around. I’m starting to think that she might have had a point, you know? Maybe I don’t _get_ love. Maybe I’m too cold-hearted to even begin to comprehend the concept. I mean, just look at what I did to Anna.”

Ryder sipped his iced tea, and hummed.

“I don’t think that’s it. I mean, if Maren had accepted a marriage proposal from a virtual stranger... not that I think that’s going to happen, because, come on, it’s Maren we’re talking about… but anyway, if that happened, I probably wouldn’t be happy about it, either. I think you care about Anna, and that’s why you were opposed. You’re concerned.”

I sighed. “You’re not wrong, Ry.”

“And besides, I don’t think you’re ill-suited for love, or anything. You’re a wonderful person, Elsa. Maybe you just haven’t found the right person for you, yet.”

“Now you’re beginning to sound like Anna.”

“I can’t help it if I’m a hopeless romantic,” said Ryder, smiling.

A voice interrupted us, then.

“Elsa?”

We both turned our heads to look. A girl with a red mane of curls for hair and an apron was staring at me from behind the counter. My jaw dropped.

“Merida? You… work here? Really?”

Ryder looked between the two of us, surprised. “Err, Elsa? What is going on, here?” he asked.

At that moment, Merida opened a huge smile. She turned around and shouted: “Hey boss, can I have fifteen?” to which a lady on the back of the shop with both arms covered in tattoos signaled with a thumbs up. Then Merida hung her apron on a hook near the cash register, and walked around the counter to come meet us. She pulled a chair and sat on it backwards, leaning with both arms over the rail while looking at us. Correction: looking at me, specifically. With a huge smile that made my chest tighten. Ryder cleared his throat, to draw my attention.

“Sorry,” I told him. “I haven’t introduced you guys yet. Merida, this is Ryder, he’s an old friend of mine, from school. Ryder, this is Merida, she’s my…”

I hesitated, trying to figure out exactly how to put our relationship. But the longer it went, the more Merida’s smile grew, and that silence alone was enough for Ryder to read between the lines. He decided to put me out of my misery.

“It’s nice to meet you, Merida,” he said, offering her a handshake.

“Same here, big guy,” said Merida, shaking his hand.

“You’re… not from around here, are you?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

Merida laughed. “What gave me away? Was it the accent? It was, right? I could never truly get the hang of Arendellese.”

“You seem fluent to me?” Ryder pointed out.

“Thanks, dude,” said Merida, grinning. “I don’t believe you, but I appreciate the compliment. Seriously, though, you guys should have seen me in Oslo. If you think my Arendellese is bad, well, my Norwegian is ten times worse.”

Ryder nodded. “I have some trouble with it, myself,” he said, out of sympathy. It was a lie, Ryder’s Norwegian was flawless. “So where are you from? Italy? France?”

Merida snorted. “Seriously? Do I look Italian to you? Nah, I’m Scottish.”

“Glasgow?” he asked, and Merida shook her head.

“Dunbrock. Small village, up in the Highlands. Nothing there but cattle, bears and ancient magic.”

“Sounds lovely,” said Ryder.

“What, really?” said Merida, surprised. “You into that sort of thing?”

“Ryder’s from Sápmi,” I explained. “Northuldran. He likes bears and magic.”

Merida’s face lit up, then. “No way, really?! I grew up reading the stories of your people. The Nökk of the Dark Sea. Athohallan. Bruni the Fire Spirit. Northuldran mythology is incredible.”

Ryder snickered, and shot me a look, which I tried to avoid by pretending to be very interested in something outside the window.

“Come on, Elsa. You haven’t told her?” Ryder insisted.

“Told me?” Merida asked, confused. “Told me what, exactly?”

“Elsa is half-Northuldran, on her mother’s side,” Ryder explained. “Although she hardly ever talks about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I explained. “I was born and raised in Arendelle. I’ve never been to the North. I didn’t even know my mother was Northuldran until after she passed. And even then I only found out about it because I had to personally handle all of the inheritance paperwork. I don’t _feel_ Northuldran, Ryder, not like you and Maren.”

Ryder nodded, then turned to Merida. “Maren’s my sister, by the way. And also… Elsa’s ex.” He was grinning devilishly while saying it. I felt myself blush.

“Oh, really?” said Merida, smirking slightly. “Can I ask what happened?”

I sighed. I really wish I didn’t have to talk about that. Particularly not to Merida, of all people.

“Honeymaren believes I am incapable of love,” I explained. “Says I have a heart of ice and that I never really loved her, or anyone, for that matter. And… I’m starting to believe that she may have the right idea.”

Merida stared at me for a moment, astonished, and then burst out laughing.

“Yeah, no, that’s totally wrong,” said the girl, grinning. I furrowed my brow, confused, and Ryder just shrugged. Merida looked at me with such tender eyes, then, that I could have melted on the spot. “You don’t have a heart of ice, Elsa,” she told me. “And I’ll prove it to you.”

Ryder grinned. “Oh, this is gonna be good,” he muttered under his breath.

Merida cleared her throat. “Elsa, you were so worried about Anna and her marriage that you decided to drown your sorrows in vodka. A _lot_ of vodka, mind you. And then you spent the whole night talking about her to anyone who would listen. That picture on your cellphone lock screen, it’s Anna in it, right? I think it’s pretty obvious that you love your sister very much.”

“You know, Elsa, I think Merida has a point,” said Ryder. “Isn’t that what we were just talking about? You’re even moving out of your shared apartment so that you can let Anna and Hans have the place for themselves. I mean, I love my sister, but if Maren ever pulled that on me, I’d totally have her look for her own place.”

“Wait, is that a thing?” Merida asked, surprised. “Elsa, are you really going to do this?”

I pursed my lips, feeling anguished, and nodded.

“Anna has decided that she wants Hans to move in with us. I don’t like the idea, and I don’t wanna live with someone I don’t trust, but Anna’s headstrong so… yeah, I’m letting her have the place. I’ll try to share a room with a friend for a few days, until I find a place to rent. Worst case scenario I might have to spend a few days at a hotel.”

“You can stay with me,” Merida said, and I froze, astonished. Ryder stared between the two of us, wide-eyed. I saw Merida blush, embarrassed. “O— or with Ryder,” she added, in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “Right, Ryder?”

“Not really, no,” said Ryder. “Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have Elsa as a roommate, but my sister might try to kill her in her sleep.”

I snorted, and Merida chuckled, amused. “In any case, the offer stands,” said Merida. “If you need a place to stay for a few days, just give me a call. I like having you in my bed.” Then Merida got to her feet, winked at me, and walked back to the counter. We both just stared, in disbelief.

“Did I hear that right?” said Ryder, befuddled. “Elsa, did you and that girl…”

“No. We didn’t,” I quickly clarified. “I mean, we did, technically, sleep together, but nothing happened. She’s just messing around.”

Ryder made a strangled sound, covered his mouth with both hands, and leaned back in his chair. I blushed again.

“I said nothing happened. I was drunk, and she let me sleep at her place. End of story.”

“O...kay…” said Ryder. “That may be so, but she was definitely flirting with you, just now. Are you sure nothing happened between you? Nothing at all?”

I opened my mouth to deny it, but stopped, since it was obviously a lie. I turned my eyes to the window, trying to fight back the embarrassment. “Well, we did kiss… a few times… And I may have tried to talk her into sex, but— Ryder, please don’t make a big deal of this. In any case, I was too drunk to think, so sunshine said no.”

Ryder grinned.

“What did you just say, Elsie?”

I rolled my eyes. “I said I was drunk, and su—” that’s when I realized my mistake. “Merida said no,” I corrected myself. “And then we went to sleep and nothing else happened between us after that.”

My friend only laughed. “Oh, Elsa. Oh, my dear dear Elsie.”

“What?!” I asked, slightly irritated.

“You’re lovestruck, aren’t you?”

I found Ryder’s proposition outright absurd.

“Uh, no. Duh. I think we’ve already agreed that I’m incapable of love.”

“And I think Merida might have just disproved that argument,” Ryder countered. “Just look at your face, Elsie, you’re beet-red. And I saw the way you were looking at her, just now. You like her, don’t you?”

I couldn’t answer him. My attention was entirely focused on the redhead mixing cocktails behind the counter. Gorgeous and brave. I still thought Ryder was wrong about it, but in case he was right, well, wouldn’t mind falling in love with a girl like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how long this one will go, I do have other projects to attend to, but I've been meaning to write a Merelsa fic for years now. I hope you enjoy it <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Which introduces Kristoff and Olaf

I ended up staying at Rapunzel’s, after all. Her husband was out of town, something about going back to the Normandy on business, and she agreed to let me sleep on her couch for a few days.

I had already packed my belongings by the time Anna returned to our apartment. It wasn’t much, just a suitcase with some of my clothes and my laptop in it. I could fetch the rest once I found a more definitive place to stay.

Anna didn’t know about my decision, of course. She walked into the apartment smiling and thanking me for having changed my mind about it. She spoke at length about Hans’ culinary proficiency and how I would love his food, then also about us sharing books with each other and some of her other delusions. At some point a car honked outside. I glanced out the window, and saw a cab parked in front of the building.

“That’s my cue,” I whispered. Then I grabbed my suitcase — which Anna had somehow failed to notice up until then — and walked to the door.

“Wait, you’re… leaving?” she asked, surprised.

I said nothing. I simply nodded, once, and closed the door on my way out.

Anna didn’t call me, that night.

She did try to call me a few times over the course of the next few days, but I was either too busy to pick up, or not in the mood for that conversation, so I ended up ignoring her for the most part. I knew I should call her back at some point, but I kept postponing the task, too nervous about the conversation that would inevitably follow. Eventually, Anna stopped trying, about at the same time when I found a nice small apartment in a relatively convenient location, and decided to rent it.

Ryder helped me move my things from the old apartment, which, by now, looked completely different now that Hans was living in it. I intentionally picked a date and time when I knew Anna wouldn’t be home, just so I could avoid the awkwardness between us. It wasn’t lost on Ryder how every time he asked me about Anna I gave him mostly vague answers, and the fact that Anna wasn’t home when we got there probably increased his suspicions. He knew there was something I wasn’t telling him, but he decided to respect my boundaries, and didn’t pry.

Before exiting the building, I decided to leave my keys in the apartment’s mailbox. I wouldn’t be needing them anymore. Then, on a whim, I wrote the address of my new place on a piece of paper, folded it and put it in the mailbox as well. I couldn’t keep running away forever, and if a conversation between us was due, I would prefer to have that in person, rather than over phone.

Moving took no time at all. For one, because Ryder’s friend from university was helping us, and he was this tall bulky guy who was even stronger than Ry. Then, there was also the fact that I barely had any furniture of my own to begin with. Besides, I had already cleaned the place and bought a few appliances earlier that week, so as soon as my belongings were in place, we were done.

Ryder and his friend made a point of cracking open a beer to celebrate the move, which felt completely pointless to me: it’s not like I’d _wanted_ to move in the first place. I refused to join them. I didn’t feel like repeating the same mistake from the previous Saturday. I was done with alcohol.

“Sure feels nice in here,” said Ryder, smiling. “It’s cozy. If I’d known this would be so easy, I wouldn’t even have bothered Kris with it. Kudos to you for the efficiency, Elsa.”

“Thanks, Ry. And than you too, Christopher, you were a big help.”

Ryder snorted. His friend seemed a little uncomfortable, all of a sudden.

“What?” I asked. “Was it something I said?”

“It’s Kristoff, actually,” Ryder’s friend explained. “But don’t worry, you’re not the first one to get it wrong.”

“Call him Kris,” Ryder said, snickering. “He likes that nickname.”

“I do _not_ , Ryder,” said the other, sternly.

They started arguing about it. Mostly friendly banter, from what I could tell. It was fun seeing them like that. Each one knew how to get on the other’s nerves, but never really getting too serious and hurting each other. Sort of like a long-time couple bickering, I realized.

I took my cellphone, and started idly scrolling the screen this and that way, without a real goal in mind. I noticed that I had an unread message, and it was from a number outside of my contacts list. Could that be Anna? Maybe she was messaging me from Hans’ phone. I opened the message, and was surprised.

It was a photo. A selfie. And the person on it was Merida, in what seemed like training get-up. She was sitting on a bench inside what looked to be an archery range, with a bow in hand and a quiver of arrows on her lap. “Practicing for the regionals. How do I look?” said the photo caption.

I giggled, and typed a reply.

> You never told me you liked archery. <<

To my surprise, I didn’t even have to wait two minutes for the response.

> >> What?! No way? Really?
> 
> >> Guess it must have slipped my mind.
> 
> >> I mean, you did keep me busy back when we met ;)
> 
> >> Anyway, would you like to come see me practice? I can send you the address. It’s not far from where you and Anna live, I think.

I frowned. Any other day I would have accepted, but I couldn’t possibly ditch Ryder and his friend, not after they went out of their way to help me with the move. I reluctantly declined.

> Sorry. I’m in the middle of moving, right now. <<

“Hey, who is that, Elsa?” Ryder asked me. While I was distracted, he and Kristoff had stopped arguing, and their attention was now focused on me.

“It’s… nothing important,” I said, dismissively.

“Is it Merida?” Ryder asked, smirking. “It is, right? Lemme see!”

Ryder acted without warning, snatching the phone from my hands to look at the conversation on the screen.

“Oh, wow, cool…” he said. “Is she a professional archer? This looks awesome. Hey, you should totally invite her to hang out with us, sometime, I feel like we’d have a bunch of stories to swap.”

“Ry, give it back,” I demanded, trying to reach the phone which he intentionally kept out of my reach.

“Hey, who’s that?” said Kristoff, peeking at the screen.

Ryder grinned. “Elsa’s girlfriend,” he said, to his friend’s astonishment.

I was beginning to lose my temper, already. “She is _not_ my girlfriend, Ry.”

“Let me rephrase that, then,” said Ryder. “Elsa’s one-time fling and almost one-night stand. Her name is Merida. You should have seen her and Elsa together, they totally have the hots for each other. It’s cute.”

I finally managed to snatch my phone back. “Grow up,” I complained.

“Is it true?” Kristoff asked me. “Are you, like, a… hm…”

He seemed to be having a little trouble finishing the sentence. It surprised me. I knew what he was trying to ask me, but the fact that he felt the need to ask at all was very telling, in itself.

“I am a lesbian, yes, but what’s it to you?”

Kristoff’s eyebrows shot up, and he stuttered when he spoke. “Oh, er, no— nothing, I… I mean, I think it’s cool. No judgment, honest.”

Ryder and I exchanged meaningful glances.

It wasn’t long after that before Kristoff had to leave us for work. I thanked him once more for the help, then as soon as I was left alone with Ryder, I had to ask:

“Okay, what was that about?”

Ryder shrugged. “What was what, exactly?”

Was he playing dumb or feigning innocence? I decided to backtrack, to try and get the story straight. Or… as straight as the situation would allow for, that is.

“Ryder, where did you meet this guy?”

“You mean Kristoff? He’s my classmate, from uni,” Ryder explained. “I know he seems intimidating at first, but I swear to you, Elsie, the guy has a heart of gold. Probably straight, though. I’ve been hitting on him for months and he never seems to get the clue.”

I wrinkled my forehead, and gave him a stern(ish) look.

“Ryder…”

“I know, I know. Never chase after a straight man. But I really can’t help it this time. You see, this guy, he loves reindeer! And I think his family might be Northuldra. We have _so much_ in common.”

I sighed. “Ry, I wish I could support you on this, but you saw how he reacted to what you said about Merida and I, there’s no chance this guy is gay.”

“Maybe he is, and he just doesn’t realize it, yet?” Ryder suggested. “A lot of people are like that.”

I shrugged. Ryder had a point, even if his chances were slim. And what did I even know about love? My ex-girlfriend called me the Ice Queen. Anna would probably laugh if she knew. But then, again, this would mean coming out to Anna, and I was absolutely not ready for that just yet.

“I’m assuming you never told him you were gay, right?” I asked, and Ryder confirmed it, nodding. “Then why did you just go outing me like that?!” I said, in an angry whisper. “Is this… Ryder, did you just _use me_ to test that guy? To check for his reaction?”

Ryder grimaced. I was spot on.

“Sorry?” he said, whimpering.

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to call myself down.

“Fine,” I said. “I suppose I did owe you, since you helped me with the move today. Just don’t do it again.”

Ryder nodded. “I won’t, I promise.”

I, of course, was no fool to believe him.

—

I had been a loner for most of my life. A shut-in, antisocial rich girl so scared of the world at large that I’d let myself become paralyzed with fear. I had good reason for it, or so I liked to think. I was a closeted queer kid in a traditional family, with a conservative father and a submissive mother who would never stand up for me against my father if push came to shove. You’d think that after my parents’ death I would have opened up more, but the accident had the opposite effect on me, dragging me further into isolation.

Now, for the first time in my life, I was living completely by myself. I should have been right in my element, there, but I wasn’t. It was disquieting, unnerving. Anna had been right with what she’d told me, before. I did shut her out most of our lives. But my sister was the only family I had left, and she was my anchor, my safe harbor. Not having her at home with me was terrifying.

Ryder suggested I got a pet. Just by chance, I happened to walk by the adoption center one day, on my way back from campus. I figured that if I was to adopt an animal, I should start by getting more information about it. So I walked inside.

“Good evening,” said a blond tall guy behind the counter. “How may I— Wait, Elsa? Heey, hi.”

I recognized him as well. Ryder’s friend.

“You’re Kristoff, right?”

He nodded. “That I am. What a coincidence. So… what can I help you with?”

“I’m thinking of adopting a pet, sometime. A cat, maybe? I figured I should begin to learn more about it all, in case I decide to go through with it.”

Kristoff nodded. “That’s great, Elsa! Here, these leaflets will tell you everything you need to know. Take as many as you need.”

I nodded, grateful, and began inspecting the leaflets on the counter.

“So… how’s the semester going for you?” he asked. Probably just to make small talk. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what your major is.”

“Architecture,” I informed him. “And seeing as you’re in Ryder’s class at uni, then you’re probably in veterinary science, right?” I asked, and he nodded. “How do you like working in the shelter?”

“Oh, it’s good,” said Kristoff. “Has its ups and downs, to be honest, but it beats working in a zoo. At least here some of these animals get a chance at a new life. But it’s sad when they’re adults, because most people only ever want to adopt puppies, you know? Older animals barely get any love.”

“Excuse my indiscretion, but I thought most of the people from veterinary would be aiming at working in a clinic. What made you join the adoption center?”

“Ah, well… I like getting all sorts of different experiences,” Kristoff explained. “The zoo, the shelter… Just between the two of us, I’ve been trying to apply for a part-time position at the Arendelle Wildlife Foundation.”

“That’s impressive,” I said, smiling. “I hope you get the job.”

Kristoff grinned. “Watch me.”

The sound of bells chiming indicated someone had just walked into the shop. A middle-aged lady, bringing along a somewhat effusive white dog on a leash. All joy left Kristoff’s face, then.

“This creature,” said the lady, motioning at the dog while glaring at Kristoff, “has destroyed all of my furniture. It’s a monster. Frankly, young man, what are you trying to pull here? Dumping your worst animals on poor defenseless women. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Kristoff sighed, and took the leash the woman was holding in front of him.

“Come on, pal,” he said to the white dog. “Back to the shelter with you.”

He was about to take the dog through a door when I felt the sudden urge to intervene.

“I’ll take him!” I said, much louder than I had intended. Kristoff and the middle-aged lady were understandably surprised. Kristoff accidentally let go of the leash, and the dog started going all over the place, sniffing things (myself included). I looked at him, and smiled. “Hello, little guy.” I crouched down and picked him up in my hands. He licked my face. “Can I take him?” I asked Kristoff, who shrugged and nodded.

The lady who’d brought him scoffed. “You’re going to regret this, girl.”

“We’ll see…” I said, still looking at the dog’s gentle eyes.

Back when we were children, Anna and I had always wanted a dog, but our parents would never allow an animal in the house. So we would play pretend with a stuffed doll, which we named Olaf and dragged around the house on an improvised leash.

The moment I looked into that white dog’s eyes, I knew exactly what I wanted to call him.

“Hey, there, Olaf,” I said, and the dog responded by licking my face once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand I should probably add "unrequited rydoff" to the tags.


End file.
